Being unconditionally constructive means that in a relationship with you, I should do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for me, whether or not you reciprocate. Being unconditionally constructive is a way to describe the basis for a good working relationship whether it is between nations, organizations, or individuals, and whether the relationship is long-term or a one-time negotiation. It does not matter whether they follow my example; I choose how I will work with them.
You’re frustrated. You want to improve your relationships and reduce your dissatisfaction level and so you try to fix the people who are making you frustrated. Spoiler alert: it’s not going to work. The change you need is in your own head. Change your perspective by presuming positive intent. You can be a better leader and improve your life in general by changing that one assumption.
Here at the end of 2020, the effort to cultivate gratitude in ourselves feels more difficult than ever. At the same time, gratitude is exactly the gift we need.
What are the qualities that contribute to being an effective mediator? Recent conversations with people considering careers as mediators, brought me back to this topic. How do I know if I have what it takes to be a mediator?
Behaving with respect for others and being treated with respect seems simple and common sense. In extreme situations it may be easy to identify harassment, discrimination, workplace violence, or other human rights violations which could indicate a lack of respect in the workplace. Closer to the dividing line it is not so easy to distinguish respect from a lack of respect.
Caucus-only mediation has become increasingly popular in many mediations for business, insurance, even more personal situations such as estate and workplace disputes. Recent research shows that the caucus-only mediation approach has negative consequences. As an experienced mediator, that research conclusion was not a surprise to me.
How not to be stupid is a subject that is smart to think about. Stupidity is not lack of intelligence but a symptom of intelligence being overridden in a complex environment.
As a special gift at this year-end, let’s give ourselves the freedom to be wrong. Get unstuck from the pressure of being right. Go ahead and make mistakes.
When I talk to people involved in a conflict, often both tell me they feel powerless. It is a very common perception.
We have seen lots of information about using mediation to reduce the costs of resolving disputes. Now in Ontario if you do not use mediation, it could cost you money.