Being unconditionally constructive means that in a relationship with you, I should do only those things that are both good for the relationship and good for me, whether or not you reciprocate. Being unconditionally constructive is a way to describe the basis for a good working relationship whether it is between nations, organizations, or individuals, and whether the relationship is long-term or a one-time negotiation. It does not matter whether they follow my example; I choose how I will work with them.
You’re frustrated. You want to improve your relationships and reduce your dissatisfaction level and so you try to fix the people who are making you frustrated. Spoiler alert: it’s not going to work. The change you need is in your own head. Change your perspective by presuming positive intent. You can be a better leader and improve your life in general by changing that one assumption.
Conflict in a workplace is unavoidable. The ability to deal effectively with conflict is an important skill for everyone in a workplace and is essential for leadership.
Trying to avoid conflict is the least helpful method for dealing with workplace conflict. Rarely does conflict disappear when ignored. It is much more likely to escalate, to blow up a small problem into a much larger event.
How not to be stupid is a subject that is smart to think about. Stupidity is not lack of intelligence but a symptom of intelligence being overridden in a complex environment.
As a special gift at this year-end, let’s give ourselves the freedom to be wrong. Get unstuck from the pressure of being right. Go ahead and make mistakes.
When I talk to people involved in a conflict, often both tell me they feel powerless. It is a very common perception.
The feeling that you are not being listened to is very frustrating. Relationships have been ended because of this feeling, in families, in workplaces and in business.
First there was guerilla warfare, then the concept was expanded to non-military ideas like guerilla marketing and guerilla bloggers. Now we have guerilla bridge building.
Conflict management skills are important for a leader no matter what the job title is. Left to fester, conflict can spread in the organization, consume resources, and become even more difficult to resolve.
Surprisingly often we find ourselves in conflict with others about giving and receiving gifts. Gift-giving seems like it should be simple and conflict-free. We are making an effort to positively acknowledge another person with a gift. However many of us have found it’s not that easy.
Next time you are experiencing a difficult conflict try thinking about how you and the other person are thinking. When I read a recent post by Buster Benson I was struck by how cognitive bias contributes enormously to my day-to-day world of resolving conflict. Understanding more about cognitive bias certainly improves our conflict resolution skills.